When your husband has had an affair, you often think about what might need to happen in order to get your life to even approach normal again. You may not be sure what you want to happen with your marriage, letmedate.com review but you just want to feel normal without all of this painful conflict.
As you are pondering this, you
might start thinking ahead to what it would take to save your marriage, should
you chose that route. People often don't understand why their mind "goes
there." It's confusing to them how they could be thinking about these
things when they are so very angry at their spouse and don't even know if they
want to stay married. I understand this, but looking back now, I think that we
are just trying to determine what we might be up against. It's just human
nature to want to look ahead in order to see how things might unfold.
Part of looking forward is
wondering what might be needed from you if you should chose to save your
marriage. You're wondering what your husband might want or expect from you.
This can be the case even if you yourself don't know what it is what you want.
A wife's thought process might go
something like this: "I am still reeling from finding out that my husband
had an affair. I am still trying to figure out where I stand and what I want.
My husband doesn't seem to really care what I want because he doesn't seem to
know what he letmedate.com wants
either. He says that many things would have to change. When he says this, it's
almost as if he is implying that he is wanting to see some things from me in
order to move forward. What do husbands typically want from wives after they
have an affair?"
This is a tough question because
frankly, I think it is more important what the faithful spouse wants and needs
after the affair. Since the cheating spouse is the one who brought this mess
unto the marriage, then I would think and believe that he would be the one who
would need to worry about what lies ahead. That is the ideal, anyway. But I
know that in real life, we don't always live the ideal. We have to make
compromises letmedate so that
everyone feels like they have gotten at least some of what they need.
Below, I'll tell you what some
cheating husbands have indicated that they need. But, since I'm the one writing
this article and it is my opinion coming through, I'm only going to include
those wishes which I believe are fair. Because quite honestly, many cheating
husbands really wish their wives would just forgive and forget immediately. I'm
sure they think it would be very nice if their mistakes would just be wiped
away. But that's not fair to the faithful spouse. And if you just brush this
over, you aren't dealing with the issues that may have a real and lasting impact
on your marriage in the future. I also want to stress that you need to explore
what you want and what you expect from him. But here are the wishes that I
alluded to.
To Be Open To A Brighter Future:
Many cheating husbands are fully aware that this is all their fault. And
frankly, many are willing to make this right with their wife again. Many
realize that they may have to have patience, go to counseling, and jump through
some hoops. And this can be OK with them. But what they do not want is a wife
who is going to hold this over their heads for every day of the rest of their
lives. They don't want to look at the future and imagine that their wife is
going to relive this and punish them for their affair each and every day.
Because if this is the reality, many would rather bow out before they even give
it try. That isn't to say that they don't know that healing is going to take
time. But they want to know that, assuming they do what they are supposed to do
to help with healing, that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
A Willingness To Rebuild A
Satisfying Marriage: This goes back to the same idea as above, but men want to
know that one day, they can have an exciting and intimate marriage once again.
They don't want to go through the motions and not have legitimate love,
excitement, and intimacy in their lives. Yes, they know that rebuilding is
going to take some time. Still, they want to know that the work is going to be
with it and that they will have a strong marriage that would have been worth
fighting for.
They Want You To Be Willing To
Still See The Good In Them: One of the most common things a cheating man will
say is something like: "I am not a bad person. I just made a
mistake." Cheating men often have the hope that one day, you will consider
all of the good things that they have done instead of just the one bad thing.
They know that they are at fault in the here and now. But they hope that one
day, you will allow them to get into your good graces once again, assuming that
they do what they need to do in order to deserve it.
In short, what cheating husbands
typically want most in terms of your marriage is feeling like they will one day
have another chance with you as long as they do the healing work.
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