In some marriages that have been marred by an affair, there comes a time when the husband has to choose between the other woman and the wife. The wife is usually hoping that he will do the right thing and chose her. This doesn't always happen though. It's often assumed that once the husband datemyage.com review chooses the other woman, the marriage is over. But what happens when the husband realizes that he has made a mistake and wants his marriage back? It can be an incredibly difficult situation with many variables to consider.
To demonstrate, a confused wife
might say: "I was devastated when my husband announced that he could not
give the other woman up. He said that he had developed real and lasting
feelings for her and that they were going to try to make their relationship
last. So he loaded up his car, said goodbye to the kids while everyone was
sobbing, and went and moved in with her. I assumed that this would be the end
of my marriage and I tried to pick up the pieces as best as I could. The last
couple of months have been a nightmare for my children and myself. But what choice
did I have? I have just been taking things day by day. Well, nearly three
months after he left us, my husband came by the house and after we put the kids
to bed, he told me that he made a grave mistake. He says that being with the
other woman full time made him realize that she is not who he thought that she
was. He says their relationship is completely over and that he now wants his
marriage back. Well, what about what I want? I would tell him to go jump in a
lake and that it's too late for all of this. But I see how miserable my
children have been without their dad. My parents were divorced and this
affected me deeply. datemyage.com I don't
want to do this to my children. But I am not sure how our marriage can ever
work because I know that when the chips were down, he chose someone else. I am
not sure that I can ever get over this. All I keep thinking of is that I wasn't
his first choice. So part of me thinks that saving our marriage is just going
to a waste of time for both of us and it's going to get my kids' hopes up
needlessly. I just don't know what to do."
I absolutely understand your
confusion, pain, and frustration. I believe that most people would feel exactly
the same way. This is a difficult situation. And my inclination in situations
like this is to not make any snap or quick decisions. You don't have to commit
to saving your marriage right now. You don't even have to make any major
decisions right now. datemyage You can
tell your husband that you are willing to spend more time together in the near
future for the sake of your children, but you can't make any promises beyond
that.
Then, you can watch his behaviors
very closely and gauge your own feelings as you move through the process. I
would suggest not forcing anything and not rushing it. This may take a while to
iron itself out. You may not know how you feel or what you want immediately.
But you get to ultimately decide what you want to happen. Just because he has
had a change of heart, this does not dictate your actions. You have a say in
your own life.
I know that many people will resist
counseling, but in a situation as difficult as this one, I think that it may be
helpful and I would suggest individual counseling first before you even decide
if you want joint counseling, but your therapist would certainly know best as
to what is advised.
Finally, I don't mean to discourage
you. Couples can and do reconcile all the time in this scenario. It is
absolutely possible. At the same time, I don't feel that you should feel
pressured or rushed. You likely need a good deal of time to process this and to
begin healing before you can even think about what you want to do about your
marriage. Sure, he may have had a change of heart. But you get to decide what
(if anything) this means for you. And if you do decide that you ultimately want
to save your marriage, then you get to do it on your own terms. There's nothing
wrong with spending time together for the sake of the kids and then seeing
where that leads you. But the choice really is yours.
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